Part 1: False Belief — “I Can’t Enjoy My Life Until I Fix It”

Okay, I’m going to tell you the real secret to life.

It’s not success.It’s not money.It’s not even love.

It’s presence.The ability to feel truly alive in the moment you're living.

That’s the thing we’re all really chasing.And it’s what we keep missing.

What We Think We’re After

Let me guess.You think you’ll finally be able to enjoy your life once you’ve figured everything out.

Once you’ve gotten your routine down.Once you’ve finished the project.Once the debt is paid.Once your body looks different.Once you stop procrastinating.Once you’re finally the version of yourself you’ve been trying to become for the last fifteen years.

That’s the story, right?

You can’t fully be present right now—because being present would mean accepting your life as it is.And that’s... unacceptable.

So you wait.

You wait for your life to get to a place where you can finally start living it.

And in the meantime, you live every day like a punishment.A sentence to be served before joy can be earned.

ADHD Turns This Into a Full-Time Job

For neurotypical people, this mindset is already exhausting.

For someone with ADHD, it’s a death loop.

Our brains aren’t wired for sustained forward motion without meaning.We can’t grind through something for weeks or months, let alone years, if we don’t see results.We crash before we ever get close to that moment we think will fix everything.

We don’t get to “be in the moment,” because the moment is filled with overdue tasks, guilt, and a never-ending list of things we’re supposed to be doing.

So we stay stuck in the loop.

Hustle > crash > shame > isolate > panic > repeat.

All while holding on to this quiet belief:

“If I could just fix everything, I could finally enjoy my life.”

But that is a lie.

Waiting to enjoy your life is the exact reason you feel so miserable in it

Part 2: Truth — It Was Never About the Thing

Presence Was the Point All Along

Here’s the truth: the things you want in life — the job, the money, the body, the partner, the house, the perfect schedule — aren’t really what you’re after.

What you’re really chasing is the feeling you think they’ll give you.And that feeling is presence.

Think about it.

You’ve been led to believe that success will bring happiness. But zoom in on any moment of success, and what you’re really feeling isn’t “achievement” — it’s alignment. It’s finally being right where you’re supposed to be.

That’s what feels good. That’s what you crave.Presence is the prize.

Graduation Day Doesn’t Feel Good Because of the Paper

Let’s say you’ve been working toward a college degree for four long years. Then finally, the day comes — you’re in your cap and gown, walking across that stage. You shake a hand, you hold the folder, you smile for the photo.

But pause for a second. What’s actually making you emotional?

It’s not the diploma. It’s not the camera flash.It’s that for the first time in a long time, you’re completely here.

There’s nowhere else you should be. Nothing left to fix.No shame, no hustle, no next thing.

Just presence.

And that’s what makes the moment feel meaningful.

Money Buys Moments, Not Meaning

This is why money has such a powerful pull.Not because it gives you stuff — but because it gives you access to presence.

A fun car gives you a present moment while you’re driving it.A vacation gives you a full week of built-in presence.Even giving gifts to someone you love creates presence — not presents.

Money can buy presence. That’s why we want it so badly.

We’re not shallow. We’re just starving to feel here.

Presence, Not Happiness

The world will tell you that happiness is the goal.But that’s backwards.

Happiness is a byproduct of presence.When you are right here — not five years into your future or three mistakes into your past — you’re happy. You can’t help it.

Presence makes you lighter. It’s relief.It’s peace. It’s joy.It’s everything you thought success would give you — but without the punishment.

And here’s the twist…

You don’t need to wait to get it.You can have it now.

But only if you stop chasing the thing and start creating the space to feel the moment you’re already in.

Part 3: Lightbulb Moment — Presence Comes First

You Can’t Keep Waiting Forever

Here’s the hard truth: if you keep putting off presence — if you keep dangling it in front of yourself like a carrot on a string, waiting for the day you finally “get your life together” — you’re going to burn out.

The dream will fade.The motivation will dry up.The fire you once had will flicker out.

Not because you stopped caring.But because chasing your happiness into the future over and over again eventually just… breaks your heart.

And your brain knows it. It starts to protect you from that heartbreak the only way it knows how — by letting go of hope altogether.

Your Present Is Being Stolen

And here’s the thing that’s even sneakier:

It’s not just the chasing that’s stealing your life from you.It’s all the ruminating.

When you deny yourself the right to enjoy the moment you’re in, your brain fills the space with everything it can’t fix:

The regrets from the past.
The fears about the future.
The shame of where you thought you’d be by now.
The panic that you’ll never catch up.

This is where the depression comes from.This is where the dread takes root.You’re not just chasing happiness — you’re running from ghosts. And they’re faster than you.

Why We Really Want Success

This is why money, success, and status feel so magnetic.It’s not about the power or the perks — it’s about the escape hatch.

Success gives you permission to forgive your past.Money gives you a buffer against future uncertainty.Achievements give you the illusion of control.

And if you can control everything, maybe then… maybe… you’ll finally be allowed to be happy.To feel okay.To breathe.

That’s the real desire — not the stuff itself, but the presence you think it will finally let you have.

But Here’s the Truth...

Even if you did somehow pull it all off…Even if you crossed the finish line with the money, the body, the relationship, the career…

You still wouldn’t be present.

Because the habit of denying yourself the moment you’re in would still be there.You’ve trained your brain to see happiness as something you earn.And now you don’t know how to receive it without doing something to deserve it.

Presence doesn’t come at the end of the journey.It is the journey.

Presence Is the Ultimate Letting Go

This is it.

This is the big idea that ties everything together.

Presence is not the reward for healing — it’s the first step in healing.

It’s not what you get after you’ve “fixed” your life — it’s what gives you the strength to stop trying so hard to fix everything.

Because when you stop running…When you sit still in the life you already have…When you learn to feel joy without needing a reason…

That’s when the real change begins.

That’s when life gets lighter.That’s when you start attracting the things you thought you had to chase.

Problem: The Secret To Happiness is Hiding in Plain Sight