Part 1: False Belief — "Letting Go Is Optional"

Surrender isn't just about letting go of the self imposed obligations we have weighed ourselves down with. It's also about the emotional weight we add on to the responsibilities in our lives that aren't negotiable. We still have things that need to be done we cant "let go". Bills still have to be paid, we still have to go to work, laundry, groceries, dishes, and all of the other things that simply "have to be done".

But let me remind you: this course isn’t about figuring out how to be productive with ADHD. It’s about showing you a whole new way to look at living your life with ADHD. And that comes with trying to take on a new perspective for how you can functionally still get done what you can't avoid.

We are stuck in limbo between wanting to feel good about life and the emotional harm from not measuring up to what we feel we should be.

Much of that harm is because we beat ourselves up because we don't feel like doing most of the obligations in our lives. Whether its from the goals we've set or from the day to day responsibilities, the desire to finish them is there, but the dread of doing them keeps us frozen.

And this is what causes the bigger issue; not wanting to do something is one thing, but we make it worse by thinking we are lesser for feeling that way.

But you don't have to do this to yourself, it just seems like you have to in order to guilt yourself into action. You subconsciously believe that if you convince yourself that you are a big enough piece of shit, you'll eventually get it in gear.

That's never going to happen. You want a good life? You want to accomplish things? You want to feel fulfilled?

Fine. If you want an answer that bridges the gap between self loathing, and fulfillment, then let's ask a bigger question:

What if letting go isn’t just some kind of workaround for broken people?What if it’s actually the correct way to live—for everyone?

We look at high achievers and think they’re wired differently, gifted with some supernatural focus or stamina. But maybe they just don’t have the same emotional obstacles we do. Maybe the reason they can chase goals and hit them is because they’re not burdened by the same weight we carry.

What if "letting go" isn't just about letting go of the "task", but rather letting go of the way it makes you feel.

And maybe—just maybe—when we practice letting go, we align ourselves more closely to the mindset that high achievers live in by default.

Part 2: Truth — They Let Go Without Realizing It

Let’s take a real example.

Let's say I have 10 emails that I have to respond to. Here's what Happens in my ADHD brain.

The lack of dopamine in my brain automatically sends a signal to avoid that task.
Because my brain is in a constant state of seeking out dopamine inducing activities, it will create a smorgasbord of emotions to keep me from doing boring things that produces no dopamine.
Now, the boring thought of responding to 10 emails soon descends into guilt for not wanting to do it, which eventually gives way to a feeling of self loathing because now I'm a piece of shit for not wanting to do it.
And we finally settle at the bottom of the swamp with a complete feeling of dread to complete the task. Leaving me no other choice than to "distract" my way through it so it takes 10 times longer to finish, or completely avoid it all together and add to the black cloud of shame following me around from the other things I haven't done.

Now, It's no longer a simple matter of just "avoiding" emails, I've become emotionally wrecked over it.

Meanwhile, my wife—who is neurotypical—just… answers the emails. No mental detour. No guilt loop. No shame spiral.

You see, she doesn’t have to "let go" of anything, because she wasn’t holding onto anything in the first place.

Let that sink in.

Neurotypicals don’t have some magical productivity formula. They just don’t carry the extra emotional weight we do. And that’s the difference.

The ADHD brain is constantly dodging pain and chasing relief. We feel an obligation, and then immediately get attacked by our own internal critic. It’s not just a task anymore—it’s a referendum on our worth.

And my brain, for some god-forsaken reason, has attached shame and guilt to anything that I don't "feel" like doing in my life. And here's what happens: That shame and guilt is the biggest driver to not wanting to do it. The boredom pales in comparison.

This is where letting go becomes so powerful. Not to avoid the task, but to shed the emotional load attached to it.

It sounds small, but it's not. This is the Shadow at full strength—that wounded child inside us kicking and screaming, shaming us for not being able to push through. But you don't yell back at a child for crying. You kneel down. You say:

"I see you. I understand. You're allowed to feel this way."

My brain, for some god-forsaken reason, has attached shame and guilt to anything that I don't "feel" like doing in my life. And here's what happens: That shame and guilt is the biggest driver to not wanting to do it. The boredom pales in comparison.

And then… you do the task anyway. Not to prove something. Just because it’s there. And you’re no longer dragging 200 pounds of emotional baggage along with it.

That’s the difference.

Part 3: Lightbulb Moment — Letting Go Is the High-Performer Mindset

We always thought letting go was some spiritual loophole or therapeutic coping strategy. But it’s not. It’s a realignment.

Letting go allows us to get closer to the way neurotypicals naturally operate. They don’t spend all their mental bandwidth negotiating with guilt or wrestling with shame. They get bored too. They procrastinate too. But boredom isn’t loaded with meaning for them.

For us, boredom quickly becomes proof that we’re broken. That we’re lazy. That we’re destined to fail.

Letting go is how we stop that spiral.

We might never have the same dopamine regulation as neurotypicals, but we can learn to let go of the shame that amplifies our struggles. We can learn to lighten the emotional load. And that changes everything.

High achievers don’t carry the shame. They don’t argue with themselves about their worth every time a boring task appears. They just do the task. It’s not dramatic. It’s not personal. It’s just a thing to do, and then it’s done.

You may not have been born with a brain that naturally lives this way. But letting go can get you closer.

That’s why this matters so much.

This isn’t about giving up. It’s about finally getting out of your own way.

Letting go doesn't make you less ambitious. It makes you capable.

Enter your text here...

Bonus Lesson: Letting Go Allows Function