Let’s start our "letting go" process with something that’s going to sound insane at first, but stick with me.

Here it is:

You need to get rid of your long-term goals.

Not revise them.Not make them “smarter.”Not even manage them better.

Eliminate them.

I get that it sounds counterintuitive, but hear me out — this might finally explain why all those big goals have been backfiring.

Because here’s the truth: it’s not just that long-term goals don’t work — they actually set us up to feel like failures long before we ever reach the finish line.

They’re poison.

They set a finish line so far into the future that our ADHD brains simply can’t hold onto it.

We try. We really do. But the dopamine never shows up. The shame always does.

And what starts as a “vision for the future” turns into a 24/7 guilt trip you can’t escape.

Stop Shooting for Perfection — Just "Aim" Instead

Here’s a better solution: Instead of “goals,” I want you to start thinking in terms of "targets".

A goal is binary: you either hit it, or you don’t. It’s a pass/fail system. And with ADHD, that structure is practically designed to destroy us.

But a target?

That’s different. A target is something you aim at. It’s directional.

The point isn’t to guarantee a bullseye every time, but to keep shooting, keep adjusting, and keep moving closer.

A target says: “Here’s the direction I want to move.”

And then it rewards you for progress.

It lets you count the fact that you took the shot at all.

See the difference already? A goal puts your worth in the hands of a finish line you might never reach.

A target puts your worth in your effort, in your motion, in the fact that you’re still in the game.

And that small difference changes everything for an ADHD brain.

Why Goals Quietly Crush ADHD Brains

Here’s why goals wreck us:

We set a big, shiny, idealistic goal.
The motivation fades (because that’s what our brains do).
We fall behind.
We feel like failures.
Shame kicks in.
We promise ourselves to try harder next time… and the cycle repeats.

That loop is hell.

It’s why your journal is filled with “new plans” that never stuck.

It’s why you can rattle off twenty unfinished projects without even thinking. It’s why no matter how much you do, you still feel like you’re falling behind.

The structure of a goal guarantees shame.

Because the very definition of a goal is: you either hit it or you failed. And failure is the most familiar feeling for people with ADHD.

Here’s the truth: the problem isn’t you. It’s the structure itself.

That’s why targets are so powerful.

A target doesn’t measure whether you’ve “made it.” It measures whether you’re moving. It’s progress-focused instead of completion-focused. It rewards effort instead of punishing you for falling short.

And here’s the ADHD gold: we don’t run on delayed gratification.We don’t get dopamine from the promise of something ten years down the line.

We run on motion.

When we feel like we’re moving, we stay alive. We stay engaged. We believe again.

That’s why I want you to swap out the word “goal” and start using “target.”

Because the structure of a target actually works with your brain instead of against it.

The Million-Dollar Mirage

Let me paint a picture.

Imagine you set a goal: “I want to make a million dollars.”

Sounds ambitious, exciting, maybe even motivating for a second.

But here’s what happens. You work, you hustle, you make $5,000.And immediately it feels like nothing — like you haven’t even started.

You’re still $995,000 away from the finish line, so in your head? You’re failing.

That’s what a goal does. It erases your progress because anything less than the bullseye feels like failure.

Now flip it.

Same scenario, but instead of a “goal,” it’s a target — a direction.

The target is “move toward wealth.” You take your shot. You make $5,000. Suddenly, it’s not nothing — it’s a win.

It’s proof you took the shot. It’s momentum. It’s a hit on the outer ring of the target, and that counts.

Do you feel the pressure lift?

That’s the magic of a target. It allows for “close.” And close is everything for us.

Think about your own life. Most of the progress you’ve made didn’t come from hitting some perfect mark. It came from getting close, adjusting, learning, and trying again.

“Close” opened the next door.
“Close” built the skill set.
“Close” kept you in the game.

And honestly? The people who “make it” in life? They rarely hit their original goals anyway.

They just kept shooting at the target. They adjusted. They evolved. They stayed in motion without expectation.

That’s all I’m asking you to do.

Your Brain Was Built for Progress, Not Perfection

Here’s where I want to push this deeper.

Most of us with ADHD have spent years thinking the shame came from us. That we were lazy, broken, undisciplined, irresponsible.

But the shame isn’t coming from you — it’s coming from the system you’ve been forced into.

Goals demand perfection. Targets allow progress.

And progress is what keeps you alive. Progress is what keeps you motivated. Progress is what keeps you believing.

This is why I want you to let go of long-term goals.

Not because I don’t want you to have dreams or direction. But because I don’t want you chained to a "life strategy" that guarantees shame.

Targets give you a new framework.

And when the pressure of perfection is gone? You don’t just perform better — you feel better.

And when you feel better, everything else in your life starts working again.

Living in Wins Instead of Waiting for Someday

Here’s the real magic behind switching from goals to targets: it turns life into winnable moments.

Every step toward a target counts as a win.

Big or small, it’s proof you’re moving. And the second you feel like you’re moving, something powerful happens — you drop back into the present.

Some days that presence shows up while you’re doing the thing — because progress itself feels good.

Other days it comes after you finish something you didn’t love but stuck with anyway. Either way, you get to pause, breathe, and enjoy the quiet satisfaction of “I moved the needle today.”

When I live this way, shame doesn’t just fade — it gets quieter until I can’t hear it anymore.

No finish line taunting me, no endless “you’re behind” feeling.

Just me, here, doing my thing and feeling it count.

This is what presence really is — not waiting to celebrate until you’ve “arrived,” but noticing that forward is forward. That you’re winning right now.

And that’s the whole reason we’re here: to build a way of working and living that doesn’t sabotage you, but keeps you engaged, proud, and free of shame while you grow.

Build Wins So Small You Can’t Miss

So how do you start?

Simple — take one of your big life goals and turn it into a target instead.

If your goal is to “get a college degree,” change it to “attend as many classes as I can this semester.”

That one shift takes a massive, distant finish line and pulls it right into reach.

Suddenly, the gap between here and there doesn’t feel impossible anymore. You’ve taken a goal that used to live years in the future and made it something you can actually accomplish — today.

Don’t overthink the rest.

Don’t worry about when you’ll graduate, how long it’ll take, or how much you still have left to do.

Let that part stay blurry.

You don’t need to see the whole map — just the next step that’s right in front of you.

Why?Because you need to start stacking wins in the now, not “someday.”

I want your brain to experience success every single day — to expect it, to trust it, to see proof that you can follow through.

That’s how you start retraining your brain to believe in itself again.

Trade “Someday” for Something Better

Let me leave you with this.

I know it’s hard to let go of that big, shiny, long-term goal you’ve been clutching like a teddy bear for years.

You’ve convinced yourself it’s the thing that will finally make you happy.

But the people who matter to you? They don’t want to see you suffer your way there. They don’t need some future, “perfect” version of you. They want you, right now, happy and alive.

So let today be enough.

Set a target. Take a shot. Celebrate being close. Then do it again tomorrow.

Stack one brick today. Another tomorrow. Pat yourself on the back the whole way.

Because the truth is, the success will come.

It just won’t look exactly like the picture in your head. And that’s okay — because where this new path takes you will be more meaningful, more surprising, and far more rewarding than that old goal ever could have been.

This is your new home now: one day at a time, one win at a time — where progress brings peace instead of pressure.

Lesson 2 – Stop Setting Goals – Aim For Something Better

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