Intro/False Belief
Don't you wish you had enough money and success to always be comfortable? No more worries about paying bills or wondering if you've reached your potential in life.
When you think about this goal, isn't it interesting that what you're really after isn't the money or success, but the comfort?
The bitter truth is that while money and success are attainable, the emotional payoff of comfort isn't. It's an illusion.
Just like everything else good you've experienced in your life, it eventually levels off and fades away.
You probably haven't noticed this before, but your brain is a normalizing machine.
Think about when you've bought something new, like a car. It's exciting at first; you are convinced that you will love this car forever, but after a month or so, it starts to just be another car. The same thing that takes you to work and to the store just like the old one did.
And if that isn't cruel enough, while this "normalizing" process is happening, your brain starts telling you what it wants next. It convinces you that the last thing wasn't what you were looking for, but this new thing is definitely it.
eternal bliss will follow this time for sure.
So the cycle continues...on to the next thing...and then the next.
Truth
So why does this happen? Why can't we ever get to a point in our lives where comfort can just become a lifestyle?
Its a scientific fact that we will not allow ourselves to have it because our brains have evolved to create panic when we don't move and grow. Its a defense mechanism to keep us from being eaten by the saber-tooth tiger when we were cave men. Prolonged comfort equals emanate danger to our primitive brains. To make matters worse a great number of people take on the challenge to make it their life's mission to finally achieve this elusive goal. "I just need to make X more dollars" or "If I can get this other job then everything will be good for the rest of my life." Unfortunately it never becomes enough because no matter the heights you achieve your brain will always tell you there is danger. Its a trap and if you get stuck in it you can spend the rest of your life trying to get out and it will be a complete waste of time.
Lightbulb moment.
Comfort can be achieved however, but not by the way your caveman brain will convince you. Like many things in life, the answers are counter intuitive but once you really think about it they are logical...kind of. The real answer lies in doing things that are uncomfortable. If your idea of comfort is security that comes from weath or achievement, then you need to realize that all progress comes from discomfort. And any kind of achievement must be attained through progress. Think about it if you want to build strength in a muscle you have to exercise it which causes pain and pain is uncomfortable. Your desire to make money or be successful is no different. The real feeling of comfort comes from doing things that are difficult and then completing them. A sustained feeling of contentment cannot be achieved, but you can feel it after you have accomplished something. This is how our brains are wired to feel good. If you were a caveman and you set out to find some food and you knew there were some tasty berries at the top of a 200 foot tree, you would have to face two choices. On one hand I can try the difficult task, but I don't want to because its going to be hard and I might hurt myself. Or maybe I know I can do it but I just don't want to. On the other hand I can try just walking around until hopefully I can find something just as good closer to the ground, after all that would be much easier. But, If you wander around and don't find anything you are going to feel miserable and hungry. The longer it goes on you start to feel emotional angst that manifests itself in self pitty and worry. Your "comfortable" choice has provided no comfort what so ever. If you had chosen to get off your ass and climb the tree you would have filled your belly giving yourself physical satisfaction. But equally important, you would have accomplished something difficult and felt the comfort of emotional satisfaction. What a blissful short period of time you would be able to enjoy in life.
Work/Reward Cycle
This example outlines a natural wiring our brains have that in order to feel good we must also have a contrasting experience. For those of us with ADHD, this process is out of balance because, most of the time, work or effort is very difficult and makes the reward feel like its not worth it.
Unfortunately there is no work around for this problem outside of medication for us. However, I have found being conscious of this problem, I can convince myself to do more knowing that it will feel so satisfying when it's done.
The important take away here is to eliminate the expectation that your brain will ever allow you to live in constant bliss. Happiness is mostly experienced after the pain of effort so if you want to feel it more often, try to do more.
