Once you finally let go of the fantasy version of your life — the one where you’ve “made it,” where you’ve checked every box and become the ideal version of yourself — you’ll probably feel like you don't know what to do next.

It’s disorienting. You’ve spent so much time trying to fix your life, so much time measuring your progress against imaginary milestones. And now… you’ve stepped off the treadmill. You’ve let go. You’re free.

But what the hell do you do now?

Well, we're not abandoning forward motion in life. Instead, just like we do with our tasks, we are going to break down the way we live our life into smaller chunks as well — and start taking it one day at a time.

In this lesson I'm going to share with you a framework that I use where I only look at "today" for what I want to get done and how I measure success.

Remember, you still have a “direction” — a target, a pull toward growth. But the way you pursue it now is with presence and gentleness — taking inspired action today instead of forcing yourself forward with guilt.

Some days you’ll feel like doing a lot. Other days you won’t. That’s fine. You are no longer on a timeline. The only thing that matters is moving the ball forward a little bit each day, and feeling good about that.

Results? They’re not your job anymore. Showing up for the day — that’s your job. And here’s your compass for how to do that.

Morning Mindset Reset

Start With Gratitude, Not Dread

You know how in the morning you wake up and the first emotion you have to start your day is dread?

You start thinking about all of the things you need to do, and all of the things you've neglected, and then the old feeling of how incredibly behind you are on everything.

Then you sit there and ruminate about all of it until the only thing that finally drags you out of bed is sheer panic.

You've gotta stop doing that shit to yourself.

It's the absolute worst way to start your day.

When this happens to me (which is most mornings) I immediately go "nope, we're not doing this". I just shut it down and force my brain to start thinking about what I have instead of what I don't.

Take those few moments when you wake up and "make" your brain meditate about what you’re grateful for. Your home. Your family. The fact that you’re still here. But also — and this is important — the things in you that you’re grateful for.

Maybe you’re kind. Maybe you’re funny. Maybe you have good taste in music. Maybe you’re still showing up every day despite everything you’ve been through.

Stop ignoring the good in you and dismissing what you've done in your life. Those things are no less significant just because you haven't become "everything you want to be".

You’ve been devaluing them into nothingness — and it’s killing your momentum.

And no, this isn’t me trying to sell you some “spiritual positivity” crap.This is practical. It’s simply giving your brain something better to chew on than dread.

It's a reminder that your life isn't that bad, it just feels that way because you've gone so long without a win.

Starting your day feeling like shit about your life isn't the way to solve that problem.

You do it by reminding yourself of the hard work you've already put in — how much you've grown and tried to better yourself. You'll get out of bed because you feel worthy of winning — you deserve it.

So get up and set up your day to be winnable. You don't have to make your million dollars today — you can't, but you can do "something" that will feel like an accomplishment.

Why can't that be enough?

Set Two or Three Simple Tasks

Even though I no longer have long term goals, I do set "daily goals".

Daily goals help me gamify my life and challenge myself to accomplishing simpler tasks that move me forward.

My main daily goal is to, at some point, feel like I "finished" my day.

I got done everything I set out to do. This allows me to get that feeling of presence every day.

Think about it. Even though you have ADHD I'm sure you have had some "good" days where you were firing on all cylinders and managed to really be productive. It feels fantastic doesn't it? Well we're trying to manufacture that as often as possible.

So, How do you do it?

Here's what I do: After I have calibrated my mindset from dread to gratitude in the morning, I ask myself "what do I think I have in my emotional gas tank to allow me to accomplish today?"

Then I set 1 to 3 goals for the day that "feel" like I can do. The main focus is to make sure I don't overwhelm myself or set myself up for failure. Be realistic about your choices.

For instance, when creating this course, I knew that there were going to be some lessons that I would struggle with writing.

Perhaps today I don't have the horsepower to tackle that lesson, but maybe I could brainstorm some ideas. Or maybe I "felt" like I could just do some editing of the lessons I've already finished.

The point here is to take the idea of "breaking down tasks into smaller chunks" and applying an emotional filter.

Some of those smaller chunks I'm dreading, but others don't feel like they would be so bad. Why not work on those first?

Don’t think about that "monster" task that needs to be conquered "first".

I know it's looming over you like a dark cloud and you want to get it behind you. But you're living with it anyway so let it be for now and allow yourself the gratification of finishing something else.

This strategy re-focuses your brain from feeling bad for not wanting to do what should be "next" in line — or the thing your brain has decided is the "main" obstacle to overcome. And instead, allows you to make a priority out of what you "can" do right now.

That's progress my friends.

It may not be what you want, but it's better than sitting day after day frozen in guilt because this "major" task you need to do is too much — then nothing gets done.

Okay, but what about the stuff I'm dreading?

Now I know you're next question: Eventually I'm going to have to tackle the crap I don't want to do, so how do I deal with that?

Here's what I have learned so far about the things I don't feel like doing implementing this strategy: The dread about doing them diminishes the more I take tiny bites out of it every day.

Going back to my "difficult lesson" example in writing this course — the reason why I had trouble with a specific lesson was usually because I didn't know exactly how I wanted to write it.

I knew the message I wanted to convey, but the structure eluded me. I was afraid writing it was going to take a dozen drafts and I would have to keep starting over to get it right - I just really dreaded the possibility of the process being torture.

But it was only because I was looking at the big picture again.

However, when I would just say, "okay, today I'm just going to jot down my main points I want in the lesson", then it became something "doable". I could do that in about 10 minutes.

The next day, I told myself "just expand a bit on one of the main points from yesterday" - 10 more minutes.

The next day - the next point - 10 more minutes

You can see where I'm going here. It may have taken me 2 weeks, but eventually I had enough information written that the only thing left was editing for structure and flow.

I got past the monster without having to fight it head-on. And honestly, spending two weeks working through it is way better than wasting two months doing nothing while I avoided it.

The key takeaway here is that I didn't focus on the task or when I was going to finish it.

I focused on caring about myself.

What can I do today that moves me forward while protecting that 7-year-old version of me from feeling guilty and not enough?

Prioritizing the way you "feel" and then assigning a task is the secret productivity hack for ADHD...at least it is for me.

Brute force might work for neurotypicals, but when I try it, it pushes back just as hard - sometimes harder... and then nothing gets done.

Navigating the Day

Here's a golden nugget about "presence" that can change your life:Everything I do is a strategic move to put myself into a position where I can tell myself — "I don't have anywhere else I need to be".

That is the state of mind I strive for every - single - day...

When you are in that zone, just about everything you are doing is 10 times easier. Nothing is pulling at your emotions, you can focus, and it just feels good.

So here's what I do to try and get there:

Once I’ve decided what I can get done today, I try to tackle those things first. They’re the “extras” — the small but meaningful tasks that move the needle for me personally.

Because let’s be honest: most of us already have non-negotiables waiting — jobs to show up for, chores like dishes and laundry, dinner to make, people who need us. By the time all that’s handled, our energy is usually gone. So if I leave the needle-moving stuff for the end of the day, it almost never happens.

But here’s the deal: these “extras” don’t have to be huge or time-consuming. If you know you’ve got a busy day ahead, ask yourself, “What’s one small step toward my target that I could do in 15 minutes?”

Try getting up just a little earlier — even half an hour — and knock it out before the day grabs you. I know, sleep is precious, especially with ADHD.

But, when you start the day having already done something that moves your life forward, the whole day shifts.

Normally, the routine stuff — work, chores, errands — can feel like it’s blocking progress. Like every load of laundry or hour at the office is time stolen from the life you want to build.

And, while we should feel proud of taking care of our responsibilities, it’s rarely enough to feel the presence we are after. Instead, it just feels like treading water while what we truly want drifts away.

But if I do even one thing toward my target first, everything flips. Those same responsibilities stop feeling like obstacles and start just being… life. They’re not “in the way” anymore because I already made progress where it matters.

Work is no longer "stealing my dreams" — I moved the needle before I clocked in. Chores aren’t "holding me back" — I already took a step forward. I’m no longer behind; I’m just living — in presence.

That’s the power of doing the important thing first. It clears the emotional fog and turns the rest of the day from a grind into something you can inhabit without guilt or resentment.

Evening Reflection

Celebrate, No Matter What

At the end of the day, pause — not to judge, but to celebrate.

The strategies I’ve shared here haven’t magically erased my shame, anxiety, or ADHD. Those patterns are deep; I’ll probably wrestle with them for life.

But they’ve taken the weight off.They’ve given me space to move.They’ve helped me start.

Not every day. Some mornings I just don’t have the fight — maybe I slept badly or I’m worn down from too many hard pushes in a row. And that’s okay.

Most days, though, I end with the quiet satisfaction of a day well spent. I’ve moved my life forward and handled my responsibilities. When I finally sink into bed, it feels earned.

That’s what I want for you — that steady traction from the very start of your day.

I won’t pretend starting is easy. It’s still the hardest part for me.

Sometimes I really have to lean on gratitude; sometimes I also picture how good tonight will feel if I can finish what matters.

I remind myself: the day is going to pass anyway. It’s coming whether I work or not. And waiting won’t make the hard thing any easier — so I might as well begin now.

Because once you’re in motion, it’s rarely as bad as it seemed. And if you can keep dread from stealing the whole day by just getting started, you win.

And that win isn’t just presence — it’s pride, dignity, self-worth.

And then? You get to chill. You’ve earned it — and for once, you know you’ve earned it. Your beer tastes better. Your favorite show is more enjoyable. The couch feels more comfortable.

That’s the formula for actually living life right now — real presence.

Because here’s the truth: obligations will never disappear, and dreams will keep shifting no matter how much you achieve. If you’re waiting for the “right” time to feel good about today, you’ll always be waiting.

So win today. One day at a time.Find satisfaction and presence in the small, real things you can only do — and feel — now.

Anything else is just a waste of time.

Action Plan – The Today Philosophy