Pushing yourself to get stuff done when you're dealing with ADHD and a whole lot of internal shame just doesn't pan out the way you'd hope. It sounds like a solid plan at first: knock out some big achievements and watch those feelings of not being good enough start to crumble. It's like we're chasing that high of success, thinking if we can just get that win, it'll shut up all those doubts.

But here's where things get twisted: that nagging shame that's always whispering you're not enough? It's also the very thing that's zapping your motivation dry. When you're feeling unworthy and dreading even starting something, let alone seeing it through, you're already at a major disadvantage. So, what do we do? We double down and try to force ourselves into action, thinking if we can just muscle through the lack of drive, we'll come out on top.

Spoiler alert: It never works. In fact, it only makes things worse.

Here's the deal: ramping up the pressure when you're already feeling low just turns up the volume on all those bad emotions. It's like trying to sprint with a broken leg; you're not going want to even try, and if you do you're just going to hurt yourself more.

Our brains are all about avoiding pain, so when we push ourselves too hard and ignore how we feel, our brain just slams on the brakes. It's trying to save us from what it sees as danger, even if that 'danger' is just our own high expectations.

Take trying to prep for a huge exam or project. You know it's a big deal, and instead of being able to manage the stress and pace yourself, you go all in, pulling all-nighters and stressing yourself to the max.

End result? You hit a wall and the dread of it all gets so big you just give up. The harder you push, the less you want to do it, not because you're lazy, but because emotionally you can’t take it anymore.

This example illustrates the futility of trying to outmuscle our emotional responses with hard work and determination alone. Instead of forcing our way through, the solution lies in addressing and managing these emotions, understanding their origins, and developing strategies to work with them, not against them. It's not about pushing harder; it's about pushing smarter, recognizing the role of our emotional well-being in achieving success and happiness.

The Emotional Backfire of Forcing Success

Module 1 - Finding Your Bearings

Self Awareness: The foundation to begin healing.

The Underestimated Role of Shame in ADHD

Module 2 - Surrender to a Better Life

Module 3 - Action Plan - Doing What Works And Feeling Good About It.